PG-13 - Coloured Lines - Degrassi: The Next Generation - Snake/Darcy, Snake/Emma, Snake/Wheels, Anti-Snake/Spike

Coloured Lines

RED . Blood . Anger . Wrath . Passion . RED

He knows why she's doing this. Darcy Edwards is broken beyond belief, looking for the person she can turn to – him.

He's fairly sure she has some genuine feelings for him, but that's not why she's really acting like this, it merely helps. If the normal Darcy Edwards fell for her teacher, she would keep it covered up and he'd never be any the wiser, but he is not dealing with the normal Darcy Edwards. He hasn't been for a long time, and the new Darcy Edwards is many things; crazy, haunted, fragile, and above all, broken.

He feels things for her too, to understate. He's growing obsessed with the girl and he knows it, he's been brought back to Earth from some daydream about god knows how many times, and he wants to kill himself over it. Sometimes he gets so caught up with self-hatred he smashes his hand against something just to see himself bleed and feel the pain – he's mad at himself. She is a 17-year-old rape victim who's barely sane and you are meant to be teaching her, you can't fall for her.

But he can not stop his passion for that girl.

(He crossed a line, he knows that all too well)

YELLOW . Sunshine . Childish . Greed . Joy . YELLOW

There are people you are not meant to fall for and your teenage step-daughter? Is one of those people. He's been close to her and so often she just calls him 'Dad' and that makes it so much worse. He's meant to be her father (who he knew and if Shane found out what he's thinking and could understand, Shane would kill him) and he's not doing it right.

She glows in sunlight. It sounds stupid but she does, she truly glows. Not that he'll admit it to himself. He can't face up to what he's feeling, so he's just being parental, if he's looking for her attention a lot, he doesn't want her to think about him more, he's just trying to take an interest in her. If he doesn't like her boyfriends, he isn't trying to keep her for himself, he's just trying to protect her. If the things she does blow him away, he's not infatuated, he's just proud of her. Etcetera, etcetera.

It childish to not face up to how he feels about her, but he wasn't ever very good at the whole morality thing. Things don't get better over time, and Darcy Edwards is a distraction that's barely better than what he was distracted from in the first place. He recalls his first crush, still a younger girl, and all the teasing he got... If only they knew. Sometimes he wonders whatever happened to Melanie, but he never tries to find her.

He's fairly happy in his denial. He doesn't have to face what he's feeling for ages, even when he finds himself alone in the house with her – it's hard to keep control, but his denial remains intact.

It's only when she walks into college and a new life, that the facade slips.

(draw the line again, don't want to have crossed it)

GREEN . Cats eyes . Liar . Envy . Safety . GREEN

He's known her since he was 13, the nice girl with crazy hair that managed to get pregnant at age 14. but he knows her better now, and he loves her. He's sure he does. He's going to all these lengths, trying to keep in her daughter's good graces, because he loves this woman.

It's only takes a few months for him to decide he wants to marry her. Emma's now okay with it and he's glad, and the wedding it planned.

But he wonders if he really does love her. He has this tendency of falling for the worst person he could possibly choose to fall for, and maybe he's just running away from that and wanting to be with someone safe and normal – But he just shakes his head. He wouldn't marry a woman he didn't love. He's smarter than that.

Okay, she has some flaws. Not telling him about the pregnancy was bad, planning on having an abortion without telling him was worse – it makes him so thankful for Emma (just thankful), but everyone has problems. He's never been perfect.

The night of their wedding, he sees a cat staring at him with eyes of accusation. Liar.

(No-where near the line, but just as messed up)

BLUE . Tears . Sadness . Sloth . Calm . BLUE

He's scared. No-one seems to understand just how terrified he really is, how could they? Most of the people he's known haven't had cancer, haven't wondered if they'd live to their next birthday...

He hates chemo. He's nauseous and tired, he sometimes the cancer would just kill him already. He's sick of fighting and trying to stay strong; has he ever really been strong?

Sometimes he cries over what's going on. He knows it won't help anything, but he can't help it. He's depressed and could be dying and he wants it all to go away.

People try to cheer him up, drag him out to go bowling. Normally, Snake liked bowling. And was good at it. But when you could die, bowling really is not what you feel like. But he gets dragged out to the bowling alley and knocks over pins and wants to die anyway.

Then, things change. He has to blink, check again, because he's there. He hasn't talked to Wheels for 12 years... Wheels was something he didn't need back. Even when dying.

But like always, Snake can't keep himself from Wheels, who keeps talking and still cares about him... and Snake realizes. He could be dying, Wheels is there, and honestly who cares what he feels anymore? He spent most of his teenagerhood alternately running away from and chasing after Wheels – he does not care anymore.

He's still scared. But he tells Wheels how scared he is and there are smiles and laughs and bowling and suddenly Snake finds himself happy – He doesn't want to stop feeling happy, so screw whatever has affected him all these years.

There are more smiles and laughs and Wheels puts an arm around him and asks if he's okay. And he is. And he stops being scared.

(The first line you crossed is the one that matters.)